You’re quietly preparing for your divorce, and your attorney has advised you to start collecting documentation as quickly as possible—without tipping off your partner. You approach your filing cabinet, which is absolutely overflowing with tax returns, receipts, and supporting documents. As you begin organizing everything, you flip through an old return and notice a familiar name—your spouse’s affair partner—listed as a deduction in the Gift to Charity section.
Your mind races.
Why are they there?
Is this even legal?
And how did this slip past you before?
What Is a Gift to Charity?
You’re not feeling particularly charitable toward your partner’s new supply as it is, so discovering they’re listed on a tax return (or worse, a joint return) can feel infuriating. Before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to understand what a gift to charity actually means.
“Taxation defines a gift to charity as a donation given to an eligible charitable organization,” explains Ariful Islam, a finance expert at Sterlinx Global. “These may be in the form of cash, in-kind donations, or services rendered.” To qualify, organizations must have tax-exempt status under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.
Because charitable gifts are intended to help organizations in need, the person filing isn’t meant to profit from them. “A gift to charity is given without expecting anything of equal value in return,” adds Dana Ronald, a tax and finance expert and CEO of Tax Crisis Institute.
How Much Can a Gift to Charity Be?
If you thought the $100 donation your family made to a religious organization was the most you could claim, think again.
“In terms of the amount one can donate, there are no minimum or maximum limits,” says George Birrell, CPA and founder of Embark & Taxhub, an award-winning personal income tax filing platform. “However, deductions are generally limited to a percentage of your adjusted gross income (AGI).”
For example, 60% of AGI is often the highest allowable deduction for most public charitable gifts—meaning the dollar amounts involved can be substantial.
What Are the Benefits of Listing a Gift to Charity on Your Tax Return?
Being charitable may feel good, whether you’re donating to Habitat for Humanity or supporting your local animal shelter—but it can also provide tax benefits.
“Listing a gift to charity on your tax return can reduce your taxable income, lowering the taxes you owe,” says Ronald. “It can also align with philanthropic goals and encourage charitable giving.”
“Using tax benefits found when reporting a gift to charity provides an opportunity to reduce taxable income, since such gifts are normally tax-exempt,” adds Islam. “This can result in a smaller tax liability—or sometimes a larger refund.”
Can You Claim a Person as a Gift to Charity?
In a word: no.
Whether it’s an aging parent, a friend, or yes—an affair partner—claiming a person as a charitable donation isn’t just impossible. It’s illegal.
“Listing another individual as a gift to charity is not permissible,” advises Ronald. “IRS guidelines specify that donations must be made to qualified charitable organizations to be deductible.”
Birrell agrees: “Donations can only be made to qualified organizations under Section 501(c)(3)—not to people.”
If it’s illegal and provides no tax benefit, why would someone attempt it at all?
“Listing another person as a gift to charity would not help the taxpayer,” Islam explains. “Individuals are not tax-deductible charities.”
Still, some filers may try to recoup the costs of an affair by improperly categorizing personal expenses—such as dinners, trips, gifts, or entertainment—as charitable contributions. Narcissists, by nature, are entitled and transactional, and they often view money spent on others as something they’re owed back in some form.
There’s also the risk-taking component. Narcissists frequently seek thrills through boundary-pushing behavior, and there may be something enticing about documenting an affair—almost making it “official”—inside a legal and financial record.
Would the Person Listed as a Gift to Charity Benefit?
After everything the new supply has taken from your marriage, it’s natural to wonder whether they’re somehow profiting from the financial manipulation.
In many cases, they may have no idea they were ever listed. Even if your partner gave money or gifts directly to their affair partner, those transfers don’t need to be reported on a tax return.
“Gifts are never taxable to the recipient,” says Birrell. “Individuals don’t need to list them on their tax return.”
Even if money were funneled through an organization, charitable entities don’t disclose individual donors on their own returns. “Charitable organizations keep records,” adds Ronald, “but they don’t list individual donations publicly.”
What If Someone Falsely Claims a Person as a Gift to Charity?
Seeing an affair partner listed under charitable deductions may feel like confirmation that your ex is capable of anything—but it’s also serious tax fraud.
“If you falsely list a gift to charity and the IRS discovers it, you could face penalties such as paying back taxes with interest,” warns Birrell. “This includes any reduction in income taxes resulting from the disallowed deduction.”
And the consequences can escalate quickly.
“Listing a false charitable gift on a tax return is tax fraud,” says Ronald. “Penalties may include fines, repayment of taxes owed with interest, and in severe cases, criminal charges that could lead to imprisonment.”
Do You Have to Show Documentation for a Gift to Charity?
Yes—and this is often where false claims fall apart.
“You must keep documentation for the IRS,” says Birrell. “Contributions over $250 require written acknowledgment from the charity. Non-cash contributions over $500 require Form 8283 to be filed with the return.”
The IRS will look for receipts, acknowledgment letters, and other written proof from the charitable organization. And chances are, your partner’s new supply won’t want to admit to receiving funds or benefits—making documentation difficult, if not impossible, to produce.
If you’re unsure whether money or assets were actually exchanged, check whether Form 8283 was filed with the return. That paperwork can reveal what was claimed and how.
What Should You Do If You Discover This on Your Taxes?
Finding that your partner’s affair partner has infiltrated the financial fabric of your family can feel like another devastating betrayal. But this is not the time to confront your ex.
Instead, speak with your attorney immediately.
In some cases, you may have legal exposure if the return was filed jointly—but your lawyer can advise whether amended returns, protective filings, or a whistleblower submission are necessary to protect you. Review as many past returns as possible to see whether this deduction appears more than once. Make copies, scan documents, and preserve everything.
What feels like another low point may actually work in your favor. Judges often take financial deception seriously, and documented fraud can influence settlements, judgments, and credibility.
Between penalties, public exposure, and legal consequences, discovering that your ex listed their affair partner as a “gift to charity” may turn out to be—for you—the gift that keeps on giving.
In the best possible way.
